Spring 2009 - Issue 5

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I’m Just Sayin’

Chaminade Staff

The Great Tsunami That Never Was

On Feb. 27, I was looking forward to going to the North Shore that Saturday to lie out in the sun and frolic in the water. It also happened to be the first weekend in a while that all of my friends miraculously did not have to work or do a lot of homework, so we were all excited to go to the beach and enjoy that weekend together.

Mother Nature had other plans for us.

I was woken up at 6 a.m., not by Oahu Civil Defense sirens, but by my neighbors who were talking about the Chilean earthquake and how a tsunami was coming to Hawaii. I immediately shot out of bed and went to the living room to see if my roommates knew of the situation. They were jumping off the walls because they hadn’t slept at all, having come home from the club only a few hours before.

We decided to go to the McDonald’s on Keeaumoku to get breakfast, and try Wal-Mart to get whatever supplies we could find. Surprisingly, Wal-Mart wasn’t that busy. They were all sold out of water, but they had plenty of snacks to last our group through a tsunami.

As 11 a.m. finally approached — the time the first tsunami wave was scheduled to hit — we were all gathered around the TV at my house in Makiki, which is pretty far inland and elevated. As we watched Guy Hagi and the KGMB news team talk about the possible severity of the coming tsunami, I was really expecting to see a huge wave sweep over the beaches of Hilo, Kahului and Waikiki.

It never came.

Of course, I was thankful that there was no destruction in Hawaii, and I really felt for the people of Chile. But I was actually a little disappointed to not see at least some kind of semi-big wave hit Hawaii. We could have been at the beach! On top of that, after the tsunami warning was cancelled, there was nothing to do since everything was closed.

I’m just sayin’: Thanks, Guy Hagi, for making me feel like I had been cast in the film “2012.”

—Miye Kasadate

Goo Goo for Gaga

Gaga “Ooo Lala,” I’m goo goo over Lady Gaga!

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, better known as Lady Gaga, has taken the U.S. by storm! In just over a year’s time she has dominated the U.S. music charts since the release of her debut single “Just Dance.”

Her out-of-this-world fashion sense and poppy-synth music give Gaga the perfect balance of creativity and artistry, leading critics to dub her the next David Bowie or Freddie Mercury.

Gaga’s music and fashion sense have given inspiration and hope for many of her “little monsters,” or die-hard Gaga fans who scream to express themselves in the most extreme of ways.

Some even proclaim “Gagaism” as their new religion, and Gaga as their new deity. I won’t give out any names, but many fellow peers have even considered the switch to “Gagaism!”

Before exploding into the colossus that is Gaga, the singer performed in the club scene of the Lower East Side of New York City, along with the occasional burlesque show.

I’m just sayin’: Gaga is taking over and is here to leave her mark on the world! She makes me so happy I could die!

In the words of Gaga herself, “My religion is you.”

—Ramon Lopez

Unexpected ‘Gifts’

As we all know, one of the best feelings in the world is going somewhere and finding an unexpected gift waiting for us. Actually, considering the possibility of something like that happening, chances are most of us are expecting a gift NOT to be there for us. So this goes out to all those people who leave behind a little piece of yourself just to show how much you care for the next person.

This is dedicated to the mysterious Bathroom Stall Santa Claus.

No longer will we have to ask each other what we had for dinner the previous night. You cleared that up for us in one odorous punch to the nostrils as soon as we opened the door. 

Who drank enough water yesterday? Not you. Actually, we thank you for leaving the toilet full of a liquid that resembles more of a thick dark apple juice rather than what we normally would expect toilet contents to look like.

It’s apparent that the toilet paper is being used to its fullest extent, and we thank you for reassuring us of this matter by leaving as much as you possibly could in the toilet bowl. Without your help showing us that almost an entire roll can fit into the toilet at one time, I’m sure the question would still occupy our minds throughout the day. You alone have saved us from those stressful thoughts and wonderment.

For those other generous people in the world who tend to answer the questions never asked, we thank you for proving to us that there are people who can leave more of a solid waste behind and need practically next to nothing when it comes to toilet paper.  If we’ve ever wondered if it’s really necessary to wipe after such acts, you’ve proven to us that answer is a steadfast “NO,” and you wear it proudly.

When it comes to the science of the bathroom physics, such as answering all aforementioned questions, we have all the answers. It’s the one branch of science where we can stand firm and say, “We have no further questions.” And we thank you for that. We thank all of you who refuse to flush your toilet after you’ve made your own discovery, just so others can partake in your glory.

I'm just saying, thank you to all you bathroom scientists. Thank you for all your hard work and determination on the subject, but please, PLEASE, stop sharing your findings. We have all the information that we need for now. Thank you again, and remember to flush.

—Kiele Reyes